Libertarian Jackass

"Life is short, but truth works far and lives long; let us speak truth." -- Schopenhauer

Wednesday, August 27, 2003


Editor's Note: Although I have no idea what the heck this guy is talking about, we at Libertarian Jackass wish to make all attempts to maintain an open, diverse and tolerant community in cyberspace based on the principles of equality, justice and the equal distribution of wealth. This is the first installment in attempt to fulfill intellectual "diversity" quotas. . . we welcome responses or submissions at

What does “libertarian thinker” conjure up in your head? Oxymoron of course! For, no person in their right mind would be foolish enough to have such tunnel vision as to dwell upon society without state or even a society with minimal state for that matter. Of course, the jackass libertarian will carry it one step further and throw out the question, what are the parameters for a person to be considered in their “right mind.” For the latter, I offer no comment at this time but, based on the author’s medical background, I encourage no rebuttal. For the former I begin a journey into the mind of a realist, or, what feeble minded theorists (libertarians) consider, a statist. Please realize the ultimate goal is to save the libertarians from the illness I have coined Tunnel Vision. Much to the chagrin of compassionate thinkers such as the author of this chapter, those who fail to find the panacea (statism) will encounter their syndromes unattenuated. So grab the nearest libertarian tough guy and encourage him to look outside the box, for the solutions may not be via the paved road most often taken.

Although I like to separate myself from the extreme thinking of Sen. McCain, his words strike close to heart, “There is nothing more noble than to sacrifice and serve our country's cause, causes greater than our self-interest." A common fallacy in the libertarian world is the belief that dwindling governmental control will encourage a surge in privatizing sectors leading to collaborating strongholds. State serves to draw together, establish agendas, and protect the utmost important matters on Earth: Life, Liberty, and Happiness (Property as well). A man committed to his country and making the greatest sacrifice puts self-interests aside. For, according to the libertarian theory, which will herein be renamed the JCWILKY Dogma, a dissolved state will lead to a peaceful world of no enemies and therefore no need for a military. Great job guys (Gorf speaking there), way to reinvent the wheel and develop the Rosetta Stone for thousands of years of conflict. While this noble idea appears likable on paper, realism takes over and the ensuing chaos among the groups of gangs vying for control of the privatized sectors will surely strike down any attempt towards advancement. For the libertarian who argues his voice isn’t heard in Washington, let us review how many libertarians even vote. The apathy among them is an epidemic certainly headed for the CDC. I mean, for god’s sake, libertarian jackass, editor of this forum, voted only once in his life, and that was for Bush in 2000. He’s at least batting 1 for 1 on that choice (not being facetious). Democracy has bloomed in the US for over 200 years. Hundreds of thousands of men have died protecting the liberty of this country. It is a deplorable shame and the utmost disrespectful sin to belittle the contribution of life these men gave to this great country. The very thought of the libertarian jackass burying his tail between his legs, putting his pad on his twat, and running to the border on draft day is the nail in the coffin. What an irony….having no problem complaining, but heading for the nearest exit when trouble strikes home.

What libertarians fail to realize is that a step backwards may land two steps forward. The subpar thinker or libertarian wants the simple, black and white answer. This mediocrity does not exist and dissolved state with privatized sectors allocating resources is simply not a feasible solution. A great example of this can be seen in the post 9/11 actions undertaken by the US. The last thing the US wants to do is go to war. However, standing on our heels after the tragedy of 5,000 lives two years ago was never an option. The self-proclaimed witty libertarian will argue at this point that Osama was a puppet of US contingency and that the US is to blame for the loss on that tragic day. Yes while US-foreign intervention is not always received with the utmost red carpet, it is for the people that the US works to establish stability and peace in foreign lands. This will be discussed in further detail in Chapter 3 and the US interest in Iraq.

While the subpar to mediocre libertarian will be lost in this discussion eager to quickly fire back a rebuttal defending his own ill-defined path, I expect the average to above-par libertarian to walk away from this experience somewhat reveled. It is with this intensity I encourage you to dissect the points of the argument above. Feel free to ask for clarifications and I hope to read some intelligent comments. Thank you and goodnight.

With the utmost respect,


A glimpse into the future:

Chapter 2

Choking in the Supreme Court:

“Sodomize This” and Other Funny, Misguided “of thy self” eponyms

Chapter 3

Expanding the Might in the Middleast:

How 200,000 more in Iraq…. will keep the Tyrants from coming back

Chapter 4

The many faults of T J…..not Tijuana: A dissection of the life of Thomas Jefferson

Chapter 5

It’s not a tumor! How Governor McClintock will save California

Chapter 6

A little bit of fun, never hurt anyone:

Corollary #1 All Women are Inherently Crafty and Evil

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